1. Lung capacity test, where it felt mildly embarrassing to put my mouth around a tube and blow blow blow until the nurse said stop, had to do that several times, don't know why I felt embarrassed about it, just feels a bit icky like I hope that's been cleaned, and do I look like I'm giving some weird machine a blowy, oh behave dirty minded Netty!!!!
2. Go back to waiting area to be called to have a chest x-ray, nowt to that really
3. Wait around a bit, get bloods taken
4. Oh, bloods won't come out, they make me drink more water, blood eventually comes out like the speed of Mary Berry's piping bag,
5. Loads of questions about my health
6. Questions about my lifestyle, I don't drink or smoke or sniff glue so they were pleased, talked about mental health
7. What was going to happen on the day of surgery, it was like a completely well thought out flow chart of incase this or that happens, the main concern was going to be my kidneys as I was being elusive like the scarlet pimpernel when giving them blood, they had a backup plan for everything and how it was all going or go, thorough and everything was explained to me, how general anaesthetic works and what everything would feel like and what happens after. I can't remember much of it, it was a lot to take in, yes I remember everything that was said now on that day, it didn't quite go in about drainage and some other bits but thank goodness it's all over with now, but I'm getting ahead of myself there. I was to wait for an appointment, as far as waiting for appointments going I'm pretty sure I was in there again having it in another fortnight, that tumour and thymus were on their way out quick! I had one problem..... Patient transport! Ideally the hospital wanted me in for 4pm on the Sunday evening so I could go down to theatre at 8am. The transport doesn't do weekends, and I had no way to get there, so I asked as nice as possible would it be ok to get there as early as I could on the Monday morning of the procedure, they said that would be absolutely fine , the freeman said that all good we'll see you when you get here, I left my house early about 4 or 5 am, 3 hour journey, and I was so sad to leave my partner and cat, but as far as I was concerned, I was going to only be a week there, I didn't pack much, totally regret that now!!! Anyway, I get there for half 8, I make my way to the ward, and I get my bed. The surgeon and nurse Jackie come to see me, surgeon says if I wish, I can have robotic surgery, the only problem being anything not picked up may have to be blasted with radiotherapy, or did I wani to do it without the robotic surgery, that might mean having the bigger chest scar, I opted for the latter, it sounded less messy? I had to make a decision there and then, he was confident both ways of getting it, but the prospect of not getting it all out swayed my decision to not go for robotic, opting for the other meant I'd be having open heart surgery, in that my breast bone would be opened up and there is my heart pounding away whilst they took this nasty free loading tenant tumour away from me, so he said for me to get a shower with this medical grade stuff, it was super clean, and one of those gowns on and the surgery stockings and he'd call for me and bring me down when he was ready, there had been an emergency come In and I'm more than understanding when it comes to stuff like that, it is saving someones life so of course I didn't mind. I remember chilling out waiting and they came up and said a few more emergencies had come in it was looking likely to be about 3 pm for my surgery again I said of course totally understand, 3pm came I'm nil by mouth of course, nurse Jackie came up see Me, said she was so sorry but it wasn't going to be today, did I want to go home and come back Thursday, or did I wish to stay and and be ready for them there, I knew the same mess of getting there would happen with patient transport if I went home, if have to get back to the hospital Wednesday night at 4 pm ready for theatre at 8am, and they said that's absolutely fine and understandable, of course it wouldn't of given patient transport much time to sort out getting someone to take me, so it seemed the best thing to do, I phoned my partner and told him what happened he said I did the right thing we were both very sad though, of course despite there being emergencies I'd worked myself up for getting an op that day but I had some time then to prepare for it again. I had a few different nurses and doctors go through things with me, lots of paperwork and that before Thursday came, then it was there Before I knew it, the morning of the surgery, I got myself showered in the sterile solution again dressed ready for surgery and away i went that morning, it took about 5 hours or so apparently and good to hear it was completely uneventful, that's exactly what you want to hear, my tumour was successfully removed, surrounding tissue and the thymus were all sent off to pathology, I'm yet to hear results of that , should there be any cancer in surrounding tissue the plan is to blast away with chemo and or radiotherapy, but will cross that bridge when we get to it. I honestly don't remember much about the procedure itself, I remember being wheeled down to the theatre, it was a heck of along way , one of the carers I'd got to know off the ward came with me to look after my paperwork to hand over to the surgery team, she handed it over, held my hand said bestest of luck and kissed me on my forehead, being the soppy cow I am, that melted my heart it felt genuine and caring , it was lovely and unexpected, next thing I got to meet the anesthesists, I think there was more than one like a team kind of thing going on, so I had a cannula put on I didn't feel it, I remember his name was Joe, because it was sewn on his very colourful surgical cap, he was a very bright, cheery happy fella and made me feel at ease, he asked me did I know what was going to happen today, so I said they were either going to take a Chest burster out of me (which he laughed and he said oh I'm a sci fi fan I love that! And he genuinely laughed!) or.... They were taking a 15cm tumour out of me, by opening up my breast bone and then bunging that In the microwave (he laughed again, I'm glad to of been humourous it's my way of dealing with things) anyway, he asked me what hobbies I do so I told him I'm currently making a face hugger from Alien and also doing some Pokémon, then he asked me had i made any other characters in the past , and I remember saying bob the builder but it felt like I was saying it really stupidly and slowly so I was trying to say it less like I was drunk, it went hazy that's all I remember, next thing I know, I'm in the recovery area, there are 3 ladies telling me to roll onto my left them my right then to sit up and to press this button if I was in pain, I'm wondering where the heck am I, I'm surrounded. Was just talking about bob the builder 🤣 so, just incase anyone is worried about general anaesthetic, you don't feel a thing, you're out of it for the whole procedure, you do have a pipe down your throat so you can breathe, you don't feel it, you cough it out when you wake up, now spoiler, I had 2 surgeries done during my stay and both times, I do not recall coughing the pipe up, you are that out of it with the Anaesthetic you don't remember it, honestly it's nothing to worry about at all and trust Me, I was worried I'd remember ever single little thing but I'm ok, it went very well and I hope that puts anyone's minds at ease reading this xxx
So waking up gradually in the recovery area and I remember in and out of consciousness, I could hear sounds around me but very muffled, I thought I had hold of a big tablet screen at one point and was scrolling through it, heck knows what a wally I looked doing that to an invisible tablet but I guess they've seen it all in there, I remember announcing that the perishers cartoon was a crap version of the peanuts gang with a bigger but not as cute dog or something like that I have this recurring dream about that cartoon, I'm hanging out it with them, have a few different adventures, and it always ends by going into a greengrocer's run by David Jason and he accidentally sets the place on fire, every time, well this time, just some normal looking dude sees the fire is going to happen, stops it and runs out the shop, David Jason is stood there not knowing what the heck to do and then I woke up I think and made my announcement about the perishers Vs snoopy lol
I was hooked up to some beautiful lovely fentanyl, and then I remember being took to the high dependency ward being looked after by a lovely nurse called Mia! She was so sweet and helpful, I remember getting up to sit on the chair, oh wow it felt very very good! I got changed into a t-shirt and my Pokémon pyjama bottoms, that felt good, but.... Something was stopping me, thank goodness Mia was there, I hadn't noticed all these tubes coming out of my chest, of course I'm hooked up to all sorts! Wtf are these things coming out of my chest, yuk?!!!! 2 clear rubbery tubes, I followed where they went and on the floor where these 2 clear containers filled with what looked like cranberry juice, I felt instantly sick, I spewed everywhere, it was the thought and feel of the tubes and I could feel them inside my chest, I could not stop spewing , it was water and blood everywhere, poor Mia, it didn't seem to phase Her she just looked after me, held my hand and cared for me so well, they changed over to the morning team I thanked Mia for looking after me and I got to meet the most beautiful nurse called steph she was honestly an angel, she was like like the blonde one from little house on the prairie she was a stunner, I'm not of the K D Lang persuasion I hope that's not how this is coming across but her face was so beautiful, and she was a genuinely caring nurse, I was sick all over myself again, nurse Steph cleaned me up oh god as I was throwing up water and blood , I was farting so loud like duck Noises and Steph was looking after me and holding my hand and stroking my hand and being such a angel, I said to her, ', Steph I feel like such a doofus Im feeling a little bit sorry for myself ' and she said 'annette, you've just had a major operation you're more than entitled to feel that way, we'll get you better we are here to help you' she gave me a very powerful anti sickness, and again she stroked my hand whilst administering it, I felt like nothing could Hurt me I was in good hands, I felt totally cared for, this sounds dumb to say, but I felt like those nurses gave me the nurturing I'd longed for off my mum when she was sick, my mum couldn't help being sick, but this is what genuine care and looking after someone must of felt like and I'd never experienced it before,it made me feel overwhelmed in a good way, only person who had cared for me like that was my partner. One of the nurses nearly made me cry, she was changing my dressing and she said, oh wow look at this warrior scar and its right here were your little heart is pet, who's peeling onions how cute and caring is that!!!! that day the ward docs did their rounds, they said one drain would be taken out that day and the other one the next day, wow, I didn't know what to expect, part of me thought oh FFS get them both out!!!! But they were there for a reason,oh they were bloody horrible, can feel them irritating my lungs, disgusting!!!! So I was taught some breathing exercises before the 1st removal , quick Sharp in through your nose, then a long out thought your mouth, 3 of them then go for it get drain number one out the smaller one, I got to see what it looked like under the bandage, there's the 2 tubes, so right in the middle of my Chest ,just below my lady biscuits, and there was what looked like a complicated mess of stitches, apparently 4 of them so, I'm to lie back, short Sharp intake of breath, one long out , do that 3x then away we go breathe in short Sharp breathe on , then the two nurses, pulled out the tubes then ok so breathe out very slowly as we pull it out, and there it was it was done and out, they pulled the two stitches together, and one main drainage was left to take out tomorrow, they re bandaged me, my main scar on my chest was looking great, that got cleaned and re dressed, that one was glued no stitches, and looked pretty neat already, I'd moved onto morphine as pain relief as the fentanyl make me sick, though they thought it may of been the general anaesthetic too they weren't sure, I was starting to feel like I'd been hit by two buses now wow the pain was horrific, but I was now well enough to speak to my partner and to speak to him was so good we vid chatted and showed him what I was hooked up to I think he was relieved to see me , he was eating ice cream and enjoying it whilst chatting, I missed him so much. I chatted to someone of my pals on different sites, they were all very caring, and I was greatful for that. I telling my friend Joe how my anesthesist had the same name which was mildly amusing I guess! So I managed to eat some toast that night, and my appetite hasn't been the same since, to be honest. Next day I had the main drain out wow what a relief, same again with the breathing, more uncomfortable than painful, so long as you listen and do the breathing correctly it will be ok, honestly, just the stitches were left to heal then and they were so painful, as was my chest scar, oh wow, sneezing had become one of the most painful things, had me crying in tears and I felt like a right divvy but again, the nurses said it was normal and no wonder really! So , I thought well maybe I can go home after this weekend, but things took a bit of a turn unfortunately and some wee bumps in the road. One night my rib cage felt bruised, I was screaming in pain and crying with how sore it was, now as a young teen some kids decided it'd be funny to throw me in one of those big bins in school and the pain of being thrown in one of them was Very similar to what I was experiencing here, this absolutely kick ass beautiful young nurse checked me over and got the ward sister to see me, no morphine was touching this I was screaming in pain, I explained it to her exactly what I was feeling, she thought it may be my breast bone starting healing that had set off the whole ribcage to Hurt due to healing proces, I'd call that the good educated guess it sounds feasible doesn't it, but she got this doctor that was on that night, now we are talking 2-3am I didn't sleep that night, he was awesome, he reminded me of Frankie Boyle who I loved didn't tell him that, he had an awesome Scottish brogue and ginger beard how cool, he got me an emergency x-ray that night, there were 2 staff on call there and wow they were lovely, and next thing you know they'd sent the x-ray to the ward, that morning, the ward docs come round, one of them says for me to go for another x ray that afternoon, these are only small bursts so it's not big amounts of radiation, I'm still in agony the doc that night got in touch with the pharmacy and they put me on oxycodone which I'm still on now, for pain management, it's twice as potent as morphine, all the painkillers had led to me having fecal conpactuture or the start of it, so promptly started on senna and stool softeners, it was showing on the x-ray they took that it was causing some problems there so hopefully things would be on the move soon, anyway, that night was awful pain again with my ribcage and a whole new sensation like my lady biscuits I mean my breasts, grow up Netty lol like they were very badly sunburnt, it was horrendous pain, the oxy aka oxycodone was upped to every hour or as and when needed, they did another 2 x-rays, and that night a chap came with an ultrasound, they found small pockets of air on the bottom of my lungs, but not enough to justify getting a procedure done with a needle to get rid of the air in the pockets, they said to do so would be too much and very cruel and cause more pain than necessary. Later that afternoon they did yet another x-ray, next thing I. Know I've got a cannula in me and I'm nil by mouth, I'm being fed a drip that had magnesium and glucose and stuff like that in to keep me hydrated, I didn't feel too great at all, and one of the surgeons came with surgery paperwork and said you need and emergency procedure in the next 30 minutes can you sign this I was saying no I'm going home and he was asking me what was putting me off I said I can't be awake for it he said well there's nothing to worry about you'll be asleep for it, he didn't say much as to why I needed it but it was an emergency and I'd be back on the ward in an hour and a half. I text my partner and told him I think he was shocked no I know he was shocked and told maybe 2 or 3 friends that I was having a buy one get one free surgery and I'll see them on the flip side, I'm a right funny one aren't I, I hope I didn't worry them too much but I thought if I do this with humour they won't worry right?!? Hopefully not 💖
So again, what a long corridor, one thing I remember is everyone I saw theatres staff wise as always smiling and I never felt glum they kept the mood up andi never felt scared, I had another lovely anesthesist, I wish I could remember her name, she said one of the nurses said I kept myself busy watching some vids on my phone did I have any good TV series to recommend so went through a few and said I'd watched Derry girls about 3 times whilst I was in there lol and then this naughty horrible surgeon sprayed that horrible Banana spray down my throat, oh yuk, I forgive him, I felt so bad I was grabbing his wrists going no no no stop but I got to hold his hand the next day and apologise and he said I had nothing to be sorry for and he did that lovely Hand rub thing they do, anyway I'm getting ahead of myself, they got me to lie down, and it all became a haze again, I woke in recovery for a bit, was coughing my guts up bleugh then I don't remember much again and woke in intensive care, a nurse called Warren looking at me ',hello Annette, is it Annette or do you prefer a nickname ?' I said I prefer Netty if someone isn't a Geordie he sounded more southern and he laughed I said Netty means something totally different up here, google it lol doesn't it and he was laughing and I said is this is silly question but if it's possible can I have an ice lolly please, he laughed and he said that's the most humble sweet thing anyone has ever asked for I'll get you one as many of them as you want, a woman after my own heart, he introduced me to a nurse called ruby, she has the most beautiful botanical tattoo sleeves on her arms and nice brown reddish hair, and a nurse came to take my bloods, I recognised her Instantly from the ward I said 'Hiya Ruth!!!! ' and she said ', you remembered my name how lovely!' and she was telling everyone how I'd remembered her name! Ruby asked me for my next of kin, that be my partner jon, I don't have any parents see, Warren came back like a Knight in shining armour with an Ice pop, and next thing I know, the phone is ringing next to me , it's my partner Jon!!!! I remember squeaking 'joooooonnnnnn!!!' and next thing I know I couldn't stop coughing and it was so painful on my chest scar, a nurse comes running up to be with a stethoscope, I said to my partner I'd text him later on, and managed to get out I love you in-between coughing, later that night I was deemed well enough to go back to the ward but before then, Warren had said if I wanted to have my mobile phone and headphones as it was a perfect excuse to show a trainee nurse around the wards too how kind was that and let some special people know I was ok, thanks to that kind nurse. On my way back to the ward, it amused me how the nurses were sat at the end of the beds and in a row, absolutely perfect for high fiving, so I did, I high fived each and every one of them, I think they were doing an amazing job looking after these poor people in intensive care, I take my hat off to them xxxx
Everyone on the ward was happy to see me again and I was happy to see them, next morning the doctors rounds said everything had gone ok obviously I'd needed to be in intensive care which wasn't planned but they'd be doing regular x-rays to keep a time line of what was happening and for me to cough up any phlegm, and keep filling my lungs with oxygen as much as possible and using this exercise thing which I'll pop a pic up of if I can if not it'll be on Instagram or something, I was on oxygen for the remainder of my stay, I had these were nubbins in my nose and they weaned me off it day by day, it's only when I read the discharge letter I realised what had happened with that 2nd procedure, I'd ended up with fluid on my lungs, when I had what I thought was rib cage pain, the x-rays over a timeline showed half my left lung had collapsed so they'd got rid of the fluid during the second procedure which was sent to pathology to analyse, and why I ended up in intensive care was because of half my lung collapsing kinda scary, but I'm here to tell about it! So, my lungs are not what they used to be but in my final days of being in the hospital I improved significantly enough to be able to go home, I'm working hard at home to get my full lung capacity back and a long recovery from this op, over the weekend a lump has developed on the right side of my neck, I don't know what's causing that but I'd of hoped this would stop since having this operation, as this has been happening for over 2 years now with my neck swelling, I'm hoping with everything that's happened there maybe an answer as to why? But there we are that's where I am now, I dont recognise myself in the mirror, I feel better than the day I had the op I feel I've improved, food isn't really much of a joy ATM, I feel bad I can't do much but I want to heal properly rather than do something silly, what a relief it was to come home, they said to me the night before, if I can stay off the oxygen, and my oxygen levels remained higher than 94 I could go home, and they did, I'm meeting the surgeon soon in. A few months to see how everything is going in Carlisle, which I think is super of him to travel from Newcastle to meet me, he is a wonderful intelligent man, and everyone I met at the freeman In awe of how hard they work, I don't have any complaints other than I wanted to go home sooner but they had my best interests at heart. Now I complain a bit about the patient transport, it can't be helped, it's a limited service and I'm grateful for it, the young lady who got me home I'm eternally grateful to her, she works in a call cente and volunteers to take patients to and from hospital because she loves driving, how awesome and selfless is that? I think it was the most beautiful drive home, she had some tunes on and she was singing her heart out she said I hope you don't mind me singing, I didn't mind one bit, she had a lovely voice!!!! I'll never forget her , wow I'm glad to be home xxx
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